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Everything You Need to Know About Anal Sex

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What was once a taboo is now… still a taboo, even if it is more practiced. According to the National Survey of Attitudes and Lifestyles, the number of people who practice anal sex has gone from 12% in 1990 to 19% in 2015 and from 11% to 15% for women only. In America, even from 34% to 39%. In short, if your man has asked you to give it a try, know that he is not “weird”, “obsessed” or a “pornomaniac”, but absolutely normal and in excellent company. Anal sex is in fact a common fantasy for 32% of women and 64% of men, even if many of them are unable to translate their desire into action because they fear it is inappropriate, daring and, last but not least, complicated and painful.

Anal Sex: What to Know Before You Start

Anal sex has brought with it since the dawn of time a whole series of false myths that contribute to making it ambiguous, extreme, unapproachable: it is sodomy, therefore, according to Catholics, the worst sexual sin possible; it is the almost exclusive prerogative of homosexuals, because women and straight men can have the other sex, the real one; it is a “porn” and male fantasy that men want to reproduce in the bedroom with their disgruntled or unwilling girlfriend. And what if anal sex, just like cunnilingus, fellatio, dirty talking, spanking or the Kama Sutra itself, were a practice like any other within what we have always called “making love?”

It is not longer, more complicated, more sinful, unseemly, daring, extreme or painful than anything else. The point is how you do it. And for this you need the same tact, the same practice and the same attention as vaginal penetration. The first time will be strange or convoluted or not very fluid, the second nice, the third probably exciting. Nothing that you have to do by force: just don't preclude yourself from trying. If then, after a few attempts following our advice, you still don't like it, you will always have time to do something else.

Anal Sex Tips: What to Do the First Time

  • 1. Clean the anal area thoroughly
    When you take a bidet or a shower before making love – right? – wash the area around your anus well. Even the usual detergent is enough, but for a more thorough cleaning, especially if you fear having some unpleasant “residue”, you can also use one of those small anal pumps that we also have. Nothing easier, you fill it with water and spray it into the anus for a very effective mini-shower. Now you can go.
  • 2. Do anal foreplay
    Just like for the “standard” first time, where penetration is preceded by a more or less long preparation and warm-up operation (fingering, clitoral stimulation, application of lubricant), here too specific foreplay is needed. Just dip your finger in the lubricant and massage the area around the anus and then directly the entrance as if it were a clitoris, making circular or vertical movements at different rhythms. The butt plug or anal plug is used precisely to facilitate this practice, helping the fingers with greater precision and softness. Try inserting the tip into the anus and screwing it slowly to dilate the muscles and widen it a little. It will be very pleasant, as long as you are relaxed and let go without tension.
  • 3. Stimulate the clitoris during anal penetration
    Never focus too much on the anus and forget about the rest. It is psychologically counterproductive, it increases tension. This is why it would be better to start having anal sex after having already done something else – cunnilingus or vaginal penetration – and while he stimulates the clitoris, breasts, nipples, neck or pubis. Imagine the scene: you lying on your stomach while he on top of you massages your anus with one hand, with the other he touches your clitoris and even kisses your neck. Is that too much to ask? No, no, it is much more natural to do than to say.
  • 4. Put on a condom
    “No, but we’ve been together for 10 years, there’s no need.” Uhm. Well, maybe it doesn’t seem so essential, but we still recommend using it. Because if it’s true that, on that side, you don’t risk getting pregnant (even if “certain moods go strange and then come back”), sexually transmitted infectious diseases, constantly increasing in Italy even if we don’t talk about it, are really very frequent. We’re not just talking about AIDS, but HPV (papilloma virus), gonorrhea, chlamydia, even syphilis, which is far from extinct in the 19th century. The anus also has many more bacteria than the vagina, so it requires even more attention to safety and hygiene.
  • 5. Choose and use an anal lubricant
    If vaginal penetration can usually do without lubricant, thanks to excitement, good natural lubrication and a lot of practice, anal sex always requires it. First of all because the anus does not lubricate itself, it has no humors, fluids, secretions, nothing at all, and finally because it is narrower and less elastic than the vagina. However, one lubricant is not as good as another: water-based ones, for example, dry up too quickly and you have to continue pouring, distracting yourself from what you are doing. This is why you need to choose a hybrid anal lubricant (mixed with water and silicone) if you want to use it with silicone sex toys or a silicone-based anal lubricant if you do not use sex toys. This is because, in the long run, the silicone in the lubricant could corrode the silicone in the sex toys.

Sex toys for anal sex: anal toys

Anal toys, that is, sex toys for anal sex, have two main functions: to enrich and release tension during foreplay (and this is the case with anal plugs) and to broaden the spectrum of sensations and practices during anal sex as a whole (and this is the case with vibrators and anal beads). Each level of experience, from beginner to expert, requires its own sex toy: starting with the plug and arriving at the vibrator, here too going from the smallest and most discreet to the largest and most powerful. In between there are dildos with a wide base, to penetrate deeply without the risk of "suction", prostate vibrators for men to simultaneously stimulate the anus and prostate, tail plugs, plugs with a tail to wear to improvise imaginative role-playing games, and anal beads, to be inserted and removed to increase pleasure in the first part of the anal area. The best ones to start with? These.

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